Life's little lessons

Sooooo Do I have a story for you....

It all starts after I pick the kids up from school today. I asked Abby how it went and she said it was good but it was reaaaaly long!

My mom said she looked tired.  That should have been my first clue!

Miss Abby, Kaden and I headed out to the store just a few minutes after school was out.
It was uneventful until we get to the Wal-Mart check out. Abby was obviously tired and asked for like 3 different bottles of sunscreen each was answered with a 'no" by me. But then as I ask her to help me put items on the counter she sinks to the floor and acts like she's reaaally too tired to help... with out having to say it.

So I say slowly and firmly, "Get up right now and help."
She knew it was the mom is serious voice so she gets up and grabs like one thing and slowly puts it on the counter. Right then I realized that the cashier had been watching all of this. She was old and with curly grey-white hair gave a very disapproving look.

Then she spoke gruffly, "You need to help your mother."

"Go on Abby you get the last few things.", I say. I realized that this was going to be interesting at this point. I knew she was going to scrutinize Abby's every move now and so I say, "Today was the first day of first grade and she is really tired."

The lady says, "Tired or not my children would never act that way or they'd get their A** beat. A little girl who can't help her mom doesn't deserve any treats this week."

A little taken back, I say, "I understand."

Now that's true. She comes from a totally different time than I do. Publicly beating kids was totally acceptable in her era. It was actually considered a sign that you were a good parent. I believe in being very firm and in leaving a situation when kids act out or taking away privileges or adding extra chores. And honestly yes, I have spanked a kid or two for biting or what not... I hate it! I wish I never had to do that but I also believe that you don't beat kids for every little cultural taboo which only occurred because you took a tired kid to the store and expected them to not be tired.

 PAALEASE!
 

Hello, let's beat our kids because we are embarrassed of our own poor choice? Right... talk about setting a kid up to FAIL!

So anyhow Abby is about to put the bread down and the lady thought she was going to throw it and she barks at her,
"Don't you dare throw that food young lady."
 Abby who is very aware of this woman's temper now quietly says,
"I wasn't going to throw it."
"Well, we don' carry bread on our head.", I say.
Abby looks at a magazine and puts her hand out... "Don't touch those books." ,shot out the cashier. Abby looks at me like she's gonna start crying because this total stranger is being mean to her.

 

That was it! My patience was gone, I had just about enough of this woman!!!!

It's at this very climactic point where I turn to the lady and I am going to EAT her like a ravenous mommy bear. (With the, "Oh no you didn't", burning into my skull like lava...)

AND Right then,
I had this funny feeling wash over me.
It was like someone said to me "Calm...Peace... Watch what happens next. There is a lesson here."
Now I know that sounds dumb but that's the only way I can describe this calming feeling.

So I said, "Abby, help load the bags into the cart, right now please."
Abby proceeded to do it, even though she was tired and sad and freaked out by just how angry this lady was.
And as she loaded the cart.... it happened....the woman grew a tiny bit softer.
She said, "She can't do this one it may be to heavy for her." "This one too."
I say, "Good Job Abby. You're doing great."
The woman now softer yet, says to Abby, " You have some muscles."
Abby just did her job and didn't look at the woman.

When it was all done to my great astonishment the woman bent down to Abby and said "This is for you for helping." She gave her a pack of gum. She also said, "See what happens when you help, sometimes you get a reward." Abby doesn't want to look at her let alone talk to her.
"Thank you", Abby quietly says with out looking at her.

We had a HUGE talk afterwards loading the food into the car.
I say, "Abby, why was that woman mad?"
She says, "I don't know. She was mad at me."
I say, "She was having a bad day and she thought you were a bad girl because at first you didn't want to help mommy."
"She didn't really know you did she?", I say.
Abby says,"No, but why did she say don't touch the books with an angry face? I didn't want to talk to her because she was an angry stranger."
*I chuckle*
"She was worried you were a bad girl because some people get angry when they see someone not help their mom. But when she saw that you started to help your mom she realized she was wrong. She gave you a pack of gum because she didn't know how to say sorry for all the mean words."

It all made sense now. So Abby smiled and opened her gum up as we drove away.
I truely believe that this woman deserved to have me rip her into itty bitty pieces. (even still!) She had WAY overstepped her boundaries. Why did she instantly go from Mr.Hyde to Dr. Jeckle? I don't know, maybe she saw my face about to blow maybe she saw Abby trying to do what was right.
All I know is that I felt strangely peaceful seeing that Abby had learned a little life lesson.

Some people in the world will be mean to you. Maybe you both simply collided at your worst possible moments. Do you let them tell you who you are?

Some people may never say sorry.

Some people will misjudge you.

Some people will try to "teach you a lesson".

It doesn't mean you are bad.

It doesn't mean you should give up either.

If you try a little harder, Sometimes you get a pack of gum out of the deal.
Somedays all you do is show yourself what you are made of.

I am jealous of how kids get past things so quickly... just look at that silly grin.... She'll probably forget this day but I won't.

{------I'm the one who really learned the lesson. ------}