Oh my life...is changing everyday...every possible way..

Great now I have the Cranberries stuck in my head...

So I know you are curious as to my well being or else you wouldn't have logged on to my blog in the first place.

First off who didn't just LOVE conference?!! I sure did! I was in much need of the talk about heart transplants! I LOVED IT!

Click here to read the talks.

Anyhow, conference touched me so much more because my life has taken a page turn in the chapters I write. I share so much on this blog that it is easy to assume I share everything but you should know I don't do that. If I seem to focus on the positive here it's because there is enough negative in this world and I'd rather see the good and count it. I have so much to be thankful for and I'd rather not share my many woes. I have emerged from these many months of bearing personal crosses thankful for all my wonderful blessings. So what has inspired such lofty hope?

THE PIONEERS!

Weird huh!? Think about it...

WHY does the church push us to remember the pioneers so much? Is it about how "They" suffered and yet pushed along or is it really about how "We" can do hard things too? (When that was mentioned in confrence I was so excited because of how much I've been thinking of it.)

With courage strong WE can meet our test. The memory of pioneers matters only to those who are bearing their cross and feel the weight crushing them.

Your cross you carry can be taken down and be crafted with a wheel, a hand cart is much easier than dead weight upon your back ... all you must do is press along in the path the Lord asks you to be on.

My days are up and down but I'm getting used to it so for some reason it's getting easier. The less I complain the less I think about things. The more I look for the good the more I feel like everything is ok.

Now I know it's October but it's not a ghost story when I say I have truly felt the spirits of the actual pioneer women encouraging me on in hard moments. I have not been ignoring the moments that seem as if pure "Luck" was on my side. But it isn't luck. It's the angels that are appointed to guide and guard me, unseen but as real as the wind. I have had inspired women call and bring a meal out of the blue. My mother in law and my mom have been there to prove that my prayers are heard. I can not and will not ignore the hand of God in my life as I go through the refining fire. For all of you who have known of the few hardships I've decided to share, thank you for praying for me. I am finding so much joy in the simple moments of love with my hilarious husband (I can't tell you how much he's everything to me), caring children, and beautiful babies.

So much will change this year for me. I know that I'm ready to be more sympathetic to other needs and to be more loving, understanding, honest, helpful and forgiving. I have learned to put aside soo much and focus intently on what really matters. WE ONLY GET ONE LIFE! I don't want to waste it! I want to experience it! The good and the bad. I don't want any regrets when It's my turn to move on. And right now I'm enjoying that I have a breath still in me and more life to look forward to, and more wonderful memories to make.

I was overjoyed to hear President Monson quote my favorite poem today. It touched me today as it always does in it's simple but deep way, I hope it will ever be my side to err on:

I have cried in the night for the shortness of sight that to some body's need made me blind,

but I haven't as yet felt a tinge of regret for being a little too kind.