Time to Laugh!

Yes it is time once again to list all the top ten funniest moments of my loving hubby Tres:

10: While dating I was told about how he was found one night sleep walking and repeatedly running into a wall singing, "wonder woman, wonder woman"... (this should have been my first clue)

9: During the first month of our marriage he sat up one night and said, "Roseanne it's your cue! Get on the stage. Go!"

8: One night he sat up and wildly started bating at the air. He quickly jumped up and ran to turn on the light. He told me spiders were coming off the ceiling on him. Tres HATES spiders and since then has done this to me like 100's of times!

7: One night Tres grabbed me around my waist and held on tight. I tried to break free from the death squeeze while asking what the heck he was doing. He then woke up & told me he thought I was about to jump off of a cliff. I told him after that I just might!

6: One night Tres and I were up talking about pregnancy. Abigail was just a wee baby sleeping in her bassinet. I asked Tres what he thought about labor. He said, "It must be like pooping out a basketball." Right as he said this Abigail still asleep busted out in laughter!

5: Last year I was walking into our bathroom just after Tres came out and saw a pretty large pile of short black hairs in the toilet. I ran to catch Tres before he was about to drive away to ask about what the heck happened to him while he was in the bathroom. As I walked up to his car I noticed his beard was missing... So I just told him, "Hi, I'm retarded..." and left him to drive away very puzzled.

4: Last year, Tres called Tyler (his brother) a wimp and a pansy because Tyler threw up the first day he tried a new work out DVD called "P 90 X". Tres wanted to try the workout, so he borrowed the DVD & we did the workout. Half way through I look over and see Tres dive into the bathroom and barf out his guts....!!! Ah ya gotta love Karma! I told Tres if he wanted to lose weight that way, bulimia is much easier ...

3: Recently while I was sick and asleep, Tres found a tick on our dog. He got out the tweezers and started pulling on it...until he realized that it was just the dog's boob! Good thing he didn't try to burn it off, poor dog!

2: Last month the doorbell rang at 6am. I yelled at Tres to get up and see who it was. He jumped outta bed fast and said "What!" I said, "Go see who's at the door." He said, "But I don't know how to work it." I said, "What, you don't know how to work the front door?" 2 seconds later he shook his head finally awake and as he walked away said, "I'm retarded..."

and the number 1 funniest moment ever:

One night while my brother Jacob was sleeping over he set up his sleeping bag on Tres' side of the bedroom. Tres bolted up having a spider dream and jumped on to Jacob's face and stepped on him repeatedly. I was the only one who understood what was happening so I ran to turn on the light. Jacob sat up with his eyes still closed and said, "Ya stomped me good." Tres and I started laughing so hard we almost peed...